Secret Admirer
by RedYellow11
Summary: Santana's stuck in a life with a terrible job and an even worse boyfriend, but things take a turn when she starts getting messages from a secret admirer. Brittana. Rated T for language.


A/N: I know I have other stories going on, but this one wouldn't leave me alone, so I had to write it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything else that could get me sued.

* * *

**Whats ur favorite candy?**

That's how this all started. A random text that I got in the middle of the day during work from a number that I didn't recognize. I ignored it, of course. I didn't have time to deal with random texts from weird numbers when I had a bunch of boring as shit paperwork to finish before five.

See, I work at an insurance company, and I'm convinced that it's the worst job on the face of the planet. Rude customers, idiot managers, shitty pay...need I say more? I've thought about quitting more times than I can count, but this shitty job is better than no job at all, and I'd even managed to make a few friends here despite my less than sunny demeanor, but still, I didn't want to spend my time answering mystery messages when I was trying to get the hell out of this place for the day.

**Ill find out one way or another. Just tell me.**

Who the hell was this? I rolled my eyes. This had to be my boyfriend, Puck. He'd probably lost his phone doing some no doubt stupid shit with his friends, and now he was texting from his new cell...one he'd probably bought with my money. I didn't know why he'd want to know about my favorite candy, though. It's not like he was the romantic type. Still, I decided to indulge him.

**Snickers. Now leave me alone.**

I didn't get another text after that, so I just forgot about it and went on with my day. I asked Puck about it when I got home (he was staying with me, since his mom had kicked him out...yeah, I only date winners, I know), but he told me it wasn't him. I shrugged it off. It was probably some idiot that dialed the wrong number.

At least, that's what I thought until I came into work the next day to see a Snickers sitting on my desk. I picked it up and threw it away. Someone was messing with me. Probably because I could be the world's biggest bitch, and this was their weak-ass attempt at getting back at me, but I didn't care. Santana Lopez was nobody's fool, and I wasn't about to eat some poisoned candy.

I got a text about an hour later from the same number.

**I saw u throw away ur candy. I was just trying to make u smile :( Ur so beautiful when you smile. Ill try again 2moro.**

The next day, there was a bag of fun-sized Snickers lying on my desk. There was a note attached.

**I swear I didn't mess with them. They're double packaged. Just enjoy your gift.**

I rolled my eyes, still halfway convinced that this was someone in the office that hated me and was trying to fuck with me in some way. Still, whoever this was had a point; it would almost be impossible to mess with the candy when you'd have to open and re-seal two bags, and I had skipped breakfast that day, so I decided to try one...and then the rest of the bag.

Snickers are my weakness, okay? Don't fucking judge me.

**Glad to see u didn't trash ur candy this time. **

I shook my head. Who was this creep sending me chocolates?

**Who r u?**

I didn't get another text for a while. I almost thought that I'd scared whoever this was away until I heard my phone start to beep right before I went home for the day.

**Lets just say Im a friend. A friend that wouldnt mind being a little more.**

Fucking great. This was some stupid secret admirer bullshit. What kind of grown man does that? Who could this idiot be? Finn Hudson from the mailroom? The guy had the IQ of a gorilla and the personality to match. Worse, what if it was Jacob Ben Israel? He'd been caught in the office naked and panting more than once. The only reason he was still around was because his dad gave him this job. If it was him...I shuddered at the thought.

There was no way I was going to give whatever loser thought this was the way to my heart any more attention. I just had to ignore any more stuff that came my way. It was as simple as that.

Except that turned out to be not that simple when I came in to work the next day and there was coffee and a blueberry muffin on my desk. I really tried to ignore it, but blueberry was my favorite kind of muffin, and the coffee smelled so damn good. Besides, I figured that since this person seemed into me, they probably weren't trying to slip anything into my food (at least nothing serious...I was really hungry), I might as well eat it.

It was amazing. They even knew my coffee order.

Right after I finished eating, I got a friend request on my IM from someone named SexySA. I rolled my eyes. Really, all I had to do was deny the friend request. Sure, the guy would probably keep texting me, but at least that was easy to ignore, and it wasn't like that would be considered encouraging all of this. But on the other hand...as pathetic as it sounds...it was a little flattering, knowing that someone was trying to get my attention. Not that other guys hadn't tried. Back in high school, guys used to fall over themselves trying to get my attention, and, I mean, I'm smoking hot. It's just that it's hard not to like the attention, especially since Puck was such a douche most of the time.

I hit accept, and immediately, the guy started messaging me.

**SexySA: How'd you like your breakfast? I made the muffin myself.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: It wasn't bad. What the hell does your screen name mean?**

**SexySA: SA is for Secret Admirer. Sexy is for my sexiness. Duh.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Conceited, much?**

**SexySA: I don't really think you have much room to talk, Lust_4_Lopez.**

I laughed. He had a point. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Who are you? And how did you get my phone number?**

**SexySA: The whole point of being a secret admirer is being secret. You really don't get how this works, do you?**

This guy was seriously the most irritating person I'd ever met...or not met, but whatever.

**Lust_4_Lopez: You're cocky and annoying. I've got my boyfriend for that, already.**

There. Now he knew I had a boyfriend, and he would back off. Simple.

**SexySA: I'm not trying to be annoying. I just want to make you feel special. I know your boyfriend doesn't.**

**SexySA: You should be with someone who appreciates you, not someone who uses you for a place to stay.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: How the hell do you know anything about my boyfriend?**

**SexySA: I don't know a lot. I know that he doesn't deserve you, though.**

I groaned and closed my IM. Who did this guy think he was? I mean, sure, he was right about me and Puck. All we ever did was fuck and fight, and neither one had a very satisfying conclusion. I'd asked myself more than once why I was still with him. Then I'd remember my track record with guys: we'd get together, we'd screw, they'd find me annoying and bitchy, and they'd leave. At least Puck was sticking around, even if it was probably only to mooch off of me.

...back to the point...

This guy didn't have any right to make judgments about my life. He didn't know me. In fact, I was surprised he knew as much as he did. There were only two people that I really talked to about this kind of stuff.

"All right, which one of you blabbed about my personal life?" I all but yelled as I stormed into the lunchroom.

"Hello to you, too, Santana," Quinn said. "My day has been wonderful, thanks for asking."

Quinn was one of my work friends (not that I had any other kind, really). We'd actually been in competition for a while when I'd first started working here for a promotion, but when she was offered a job in a different department, basically handing me the job, we'd made nice pretty fast. Of course, that didn't mean that she couldn't piss me the hell off from time to time.

"Cut the crap, Fabray," I snapped. "Who did you tell about Puck and me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Contrary to what you think, the world doesn't revolve around you. I don't spend all of my time dishing out your dirt to whoever asks."

"Wait, what's going on?" Brittany asked from beside Quinn. "Why do you think we were talking about you?"

Brittany was my other friend at work. She was just one of those people that you couldn't dislike. It was weird, because the bubbly types usually piss me off to no end, but not Brittany. Quinn said it was because she was the yin to my yang. She was rainbows-and-unicorns while I was shut-the-fuck-up-before-I-cut-you-with-the-razor-blades-in-my-hair, so we sort of complimented each other.

"Are you guys sure you haven't said anything to anybody?" I asked. They shook their heads, and I sighed. "It's just...someone keeps messaging me stuff, and they know way too much about me."

"Really?" Quinn asked, sounding a little too excited. "Who is it?"

"I don't know," I said. "They...they're a secret admirer."

Quinn awed, and I shot her a glare.

"That's so sweet!" she said, practically squealing.

"It's stupid and creepy," I said back. "How is leaving chocolate and muffins on someone's desk without telling them who you are sweet?"

"Um...how is leaving chocolate and muffins on someone's desk without telling them who you are NOT sweet? Seriously, Santana, it's romantic."

"Who do you think it is?" Brittany asked.

"No idea, and I don't really care," I answered. "This guy is seriously delusional if he thinks he's gonna get anywhere with me."

"Well, you can point him in my direction, then," Quinn said. "I wouldn't mind having someone show me a little attention, and you shouldn't, either."

"It is nice," Brittany said. "Having someone give you things can't be a bad thing."

"Are we all forgetting that I have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"Oh, please," Quinn said. "He's the biggest asshat on the planet. It's not like you're in love with him."

"That doesn't mean I should cheat on him with some guy at the office."

"Yeah, but maybe it means you should dump his ass for something better," Quinn said. "Sure, Puck's easy on the eyes, but that's about all he's got going for him. He's got a mohawk, for Christ's sake!"

"I'm not listening to you anymore," I said, taking an angry bite out of my sandwich.

"Fine. If you won't listen to me, listen to Brittany."

Brittany's eyes went wide. "Hey, I'm not getting in this. Santana can do whatever she wants."

I smiled. "Thank you, Britt."

Quinn groaned. "Look, Brittany, I'm just asking you to tell Santana what you think of all of this."

"No, you're asking her to agree with what you think about this." I hated when Quinn did this. Whenever we'd get into it, she'd always try to drag Brittany into whatever we were fighting about. "Just leave her alone."

"Oh, so now you don't even want to know Brittany's opinion? Good to know she means so much to you."

"Quinn, it's fine," Brittany said, her cheeks a little pink. "I really don't care. Santana doesn't need my opinion on everything she does."

I smiled at Brittany again. She really always seemed to have my best interest in mind...which is why I figured I really should get her opinion on this.

"Well...what would you do if you were me?" I asked her.

"Santana, you don't have to-"

"But I want to," I cut her off. "I wanna know how you feel."

Her face went even redder at that, and I almost giggled. She could be so shy sometimes.

"I think...maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge," she said. "Maybe you should think of this as an opportunity to get to know someone that just might really care about you."

Quinn clapped her hands. "Alright, it's settled. Lopez, you're going to give this guy a chance to woo you."

"You're an idiot," I said, but she just laughed. The rest of my day went on pretty normally. Puck had even thought of me enough to give me some of his leftover take-out. When I came into work the next morning, breakfast was waiting on my desk again. Today, it was a breakfast sandwich and more coffee.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Are you trying to fatten me up or something?**

**SexySA: I just know that you don't eat very well.**

**SexySA: And no, I haven't been pumping your friends for information.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Then how do you know all this stuff?**

**SexySA: I'll never tell ;)**

**Lust_4_Lopez: When do I get to start learning stuff about you?**

**SexySA: What do you want to know?**

**SexySA: Besides who I am.**

**SexySA: And how I know so much about you.**

I rolled my eyes. This guy really wasn't giving me much to work with.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Fine. What do you look like?**

**SexySA: Tall. Athletic build. Blonde.**

**SexySA: That's all I'm giving you.**

I wracked my brain. The problem was, that described about a quarter of the guys that worked here. On the plus side, it knocked out Finn and Jacob.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Why are you doing this whole secret admirer schtick?**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Why don't you just come talk to me?**

**SexySA: You're not exactly the easiest person to talk to.**

**SexySA: And I'm scared you'd take one look at me and turn me down without giving me a chance.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Why would I do that? Are you disfigured or something?**

**SexySA: Lol no.**

**SexySA: It's complicated.**

**SexySA: I just thought it'd be better if you got to know me before you saw me.**

**SexySA: That is, if you want to get to know me.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Yeah, well, you can thank my friends for convincing me to give you a shot.**

**SexySA: You have amazing friends, then :)**

We talked for a little while longer that day, and a lot more over the next few weeks. This guy was one of the weirdest people I'd ever met. He'd say things once in a while that almost had me convinced all over again that this was all an elaborate hoax. I mean, he told me that his cat had an Ecstasy problem and he'd once spent a summer in the sewers.

Still, we had a lot in common. We'd both been in glee club and cheerleading in high school, and we both hated this stupid job which, in my book, was his best quality. Well, that, and the fact that he was a dancer. Nothing was sexier than a dancer in my book.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Why do you work here if you're a dancer?**

**SexySA: I was going to be a professional dancer, but I hurt my knee when I was 18.**

**SexySA: I'm still trying to save up money so I can open a dance studio, though.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: I'm sorry. That sucks.**

**SexySA: Don't be sorry. I think that everything happens for a reason.**

**SexySA: And blowing out my knee and getting this job led me to you.**

**SexySA: So I'm good.**

I laughed and felt myself blush a little. He was always doing that; taking something that should be really heavy and making it seem better. He knew how to make me laugh, which was saying something, because most people that tried ended up just pissing me off. He also was really good at making me feel special. He never thought any of my hobbies or dreams were dumb. He'd let me go on and on about things that most people wouldn't listen to for more than five minutes. The more I talked to him, the more I liked him, which was weird, because I'd never even met him.

**Lust_4_Lopez: When are you going to grow a pair and introduce yourself to me?**

**SexySA: Once I'm absolutely sure you're head-over-heels in love with me ;)**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Lol.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Seriously, though, I really wouldn't mind meeting you.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: I promise to turn my bitch down 10% for you.**

**SexySA: Haha oh wow. I must be really special.**

**SexySA: It'll happen when the time is right.**

Two days after that conversation, I caught Puck in bed with somebody else.

"Baby, wait!" he'd called after me as I stormed out of the room.

"What?" I snapped, spinning around to face him. "What the fuck could you possibly say to me right now that isn't gonna result in me ripping off your dick with my bare hands?"

"Calm down," he said, covering his junk with his hand in front of the blanket he'd wrapped around his waist. "She doesn't mean anything to me. Sugar's just-"

"Sugar?" I said in disbelief. "You're cheating on me with a girl named Sugar? Let me guess; she's a stripper from one of the clubs you think I don't know about you going to?"

"No! Well...yeah, but that's not the point! I just told you that she doesn't mean anything to me!"

"Do I?" I asked.

"Do you what?"

"God, you're stupid," I said. "Do I mean anything to you?"

"Well, yeah. You take care of me and stuff."

"So basically, since your mom kicked you out, I've filled that role for you?"

"Dude, I don't sleep with my mom," he said. "That's sick."

I almost wanted to laugh. "Get the fuck out of my house, Noah."

"Are you serious?" he said. "Baby, think about this."

"I have thought about this. I've thought about this almost every day since the moment we got together. Now get your bitch out of my bed and leave before I call the cops and have you arrested!"

It took Puck about a half an hour to get all of his stuff and leave. I started crying almost the second that he stepped out the door. Not because I was sad he was gone or mad that he'd cheated on me. Really, I sort of felt like he'd done me a favor (although, I'd have to set my mattress on fire). I cried because I'd let him treat me this way for so long. I wasn't stupid; this probably wasn't the first time that he'd gone behind my back, but I still stayed with him. I felt worthless.

Two pints of ice cream later, I heard a knock on my door. Afraid that it was Puck coming back to beg for my forgiveness or get something that he'd forgotten, I wiped away my tears and fixed my hair. I wasn't about to have him thinking that he'd made me a wreck.

I was surprised to find Brittany on the other side of the door.

"Hey," I said with a smile. "What're you doing here?"

"Hi," she said back. "I just wanted to...Santana have you been crying?"

"What? No!" I said, quickly looking to the ground. "My allergies are just acting up a little."

"What's wrong?" she asked, stepping into my house and shutting the door behind her. "Did something happen?"

"Britt, I'm fine," I said, trying to fight back the fresh wave of tears I could feel coming, but as soon as I looked into her eyes, all filled with concern and caring, I lost it. I was wrapped up in her arms before the first tear even made it all the way down my face.

"Oh, sweetie," she said. "Whatever happened, it'll be okay. You'll be okay."

I told her everything that happened with Puck, and she just kept holding me. I was a sobbing mess by the end of it, but she said she didn't care, and she just sat us down on my couch.

"He's such a dick!" I yelled. "I always thought I'd just feel relieved when he finally left, but I feel horrible."

"Maybe he meant more to yo than you thought," Brittany said, sounding a little sad. I guess I'd feel sad if I were in her shoes, too. It must be hard to see a friend so broken up over someone who treated them so badly.

"It's not that," I said. "It's just...why did I need him to leave? Why couldn't I just leave him myself? Am I really that pathetic?"

"Don't talk that way about yourself!" she practically yelled, and it surprised me. Brittany was always so soft spoken. Then again, I didn't really talk to her much outside of the office. Besides a couple of girls nights that Quinn had insisted on, I didn't spend much time with anyone but Puck or whatever guy I was dating.

"Santana, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone," she continued.

"Even if you stay with an asshole that treats you like shit?"

"Staying with Puck doesn't mean your pathetic," she said. "It just means that you didn't think you could get any better. I know that's not true, though. I think there's somebody out there for everyone. Someone who understands you and loves you no matter how unlovable you think you are."

"Yeah, well, I wish I could be as optimistic, but I'm something of a realist, and I know that there's not a happily-ever-after waiting for me."

"Maybe there is," she said. "Maybe you've just been so caught up in your sad cloud that you haven't taken the time to look around you and see that happily-ever-after is staring you right in the face."

"It's really not feeling like it right now," I said, and she mumbled something under her breath that sounded oddly like oblivious.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly with a smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, feeling like I knew why she'd said that. "You came by to talk to me about something, and I've just been crying on your shoulder. What's up?"

"It's...it's nothing," she said. "I was...it's nothing."

"No," I said. "You can talk to me. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said. "It's getting late. I need to get going."

"Wait!" I said as she stood up. "Are you okay? I feel like I pissed you off or something."

"It's not that," she said with a reassuring smile. "It's just that I thought this was the right time."

She left without another word. What the hell did that mean?

The next day, there was my usual breakfast sitting on my desk. Next to it was a stuffed duck. I smiled, because I knew it had to be from my secret admirer. No one else would be weird enough to give someone a stuffed duck as a present.

**Lust_4_Lopez: What's with the duck?**

**SexySA: I heard about your boyfriend.**

**SexySA: I thought the toy would make you feel better.**

**SexySA: Duck are my favorite. And they're so much better than bears.**

I laughed, not even questioning how he'd found out about Puck. I'd talked to Quinn about it this morning, and I figured he must have overheard me. He seemed to be sneaky like that. Either that, or he was a major stalker, but at this point, I almost didn't care.

Sad, but true.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I'm alright.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Had a talk with Brittany that cheered me up a little.**

**SexySA: I'm glad.**

**SexySA: Now I don't have to pretend to be sad that he's out of the picture :)**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Haha nice to know you really care.**

**SexySA: I do care!**

**SexySA: But can you blame me for being happy he's gone?**

**SexySA: It just means one less thing standing in my way.**

**SexySA: But mostly, it means he won't walk all over you anymore.**

**SexySA: That's my favorite thing.**

I smiled. The more I'd thought about it, the more I thought Brittany was right. Maybe happiness was right in front of me. I mean, I had a guy that seemed like he really cared about me right here in the office. A guy that for...almost two and a half months, now...had bought me breakfast and snacks. A guy who never let me go a day without telling me I was beautiful. That had to mean something, right? I just wished that I knew who he was.

"I think I know," Quinn said one day at lunch.

"Know what?" I asked.

"Know who your mystery guy is!" she said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure you do."

This was about the seventh time that Quinn had told me that she thought she'd figured it out. The first few times, I'd really listened to her. After I'd hear her paper-thin reasoning, though, I knew she was just grasping at straws.

"I'm serious this time!" she said. "Don't you even want to know who I think it is?"

"I guess," I said. "But I'm only saying that because I know you'll tell me anyways."

She groaned and pouted. "Fine, I'm not saying anything, then."

"Okay," I said, and we dropped back into silence.

"Sam Evans!" she said after a few seconds.

"The intern?" I asked. "Why would you think it's him?"

"Think about it, Santana: he started about a month before you got the first text, he's quirky as all hell, he's tall with blonde hair and an athletic build-"

"Yeah, this is basically the way you've started every guess," I said.

"Would you shut up and listen to me for two seconds?" she snapped at me, and I shut up. "Okay, so I've sort of been snooping around the office, trying to get leads on your secret admirer, and I was pretty much coming up empty until the day you broke up with Puck. I heard Sam asking somebody about you. I didn't quite get the details, but I'm pretty sure he asked about you 'having anyone' or something. That's probably how he'd figured out you were single that day. I wouldn't doubt that he ran out and got you the toy and breakfast before you came in."

"That's stupid," I said. "How would some random person know that I'd broken up with Puck?"

Quinn blushed a little. "Okay, so maybe I posted it on my Facebook right after you'd texted me that you two were over. And maybe I'm friends with half the office-"

"Quinn!" I yelled, smacking her arm.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!"

"I thought you said you didn't go around blabbing my dirt to everyone," I said with a glare. No wonder my secret admirer knew so much about me.

"Look, none of that matters now," she said. "You should talk to Sam. Try to force the truth out."

I couldn't help but feel a little intrigued. I didn't really know Sam very well outside of him getting me coffee a few times (which would explain my secret admirer knowing my coffee order...), but he did sort of fit the bill. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to him. On the other hand, there was no guarantee that it really was him.

"I'll text Brittany," I said. She'd had to leave before lunch for a dentist appointment. "She'll know what to do."

"No!" Quinn said snatching my phone away. "She'll just talk you out of it like she did with all the other guys."

"Give me my phone back before I go Lima Heights on your ass!"

"Promise me you won't call Brittany, and I will."

I groaned. "Fine! I won't talk to Brittany."

"And promise me that you'll talk to Sam before the day's over," she added on.

"Why do you care about this so much?"

"Because I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm living vicariously through you right now," she said. "Now promise me, or your phone goes in one of the urinals in the guys' bathroom."

I narrowed my eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," she said, starting to stand up.

"Alright!" I yelled. "I'll talk to him, okay?"

She handed me back my phone with a triumphant smirk on her face. It was moments like these that I wanted to punch her in her smug little face, but I restrained myself.

A few hours later, I spotted Sam coming out of one of the conference rooms. I felt my nerves pick up. My secret admirer hadn't messaged me all afternoon. Was it because he'd been caught up being water boy and taking notes at one of the meetings? Could it really be Sam?

"Sam!" I called from my desk, and he came into my office.

"Yes, Miss Lopez?" he said, sitting at one of my chairs. He looked nervous. Was it because he really knew why I'd called him in here?

"Hello, Sam," I said, trying to keep the waver out of my voice. "How are you?"

"Pretty good, I guess," he said. "Just trying to get through another Monday."

"You not totally content to work here?" I asked.

"No! It's not that!" he said quickly.

"Sam, you can be honest with me," I said. "In fact, I'd appreciate it if you would."

He sighed. "Well, it's a lot of work for free, you know?"

I nodded and shot him a smile. "What would you rather be doing?"

"Am I being evaluated?" he asked, and I laughed.

"No, I'm just wondering about you. That's all."

He sighed in relief. "Oh. Alright. I guess I've really always wanted to perform. That's my real dream, but things don't always work out, y'know?"

I nodded as I tried to keep my hands from shaking. It was Sam. It really was Sam. I finally knew who my secret admirer was. Sure, I'd been expecting to find that it was someone I'd felt a little bit of a spark with, but I wasn't totally disappointed or anything. Sam was cute enough (besides his huge trouty mouth), and really, he couldn't be as simple as he seemed on the outside. He couldn't be with all the sweet things he'd done for me over the last couple of months.

"You thought you were so good, didn't you?" I said with a smirk.

"Um...what?" he said, flipping his hair out of his eyes. Yeah, I'd need to make sure he got that cut.

"Why were you so nervous?" I asked. "Why didn't you just come to me? It would have been so much easier."

Sam's eyes went wide. "You...you know I've been asking about you?"

I laughed. "Really? That's all your worried about me knowing? I have you figured out, Sam."

"Look, I know that I should've just come to you about this, but you're sort of...abrasive...and honestly, you scare me a little."

"You shouldn't be scared of me, Sam." I reached across the desk and grabbed his hand. "I...I've really fallen in love with you."

Sam looked confused for a second before he snatched his hand away.

"Whoa, um...that's cool and all, and you're like, super hot, but I'm not really down with sleeping my way into a job."

"What?" I asked, completely lost.

"No, don't worry. I'm not gonna report you or anything. I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and all. I'm not judging, but it sort of makes me feel like a prostitute."

"What're you talking about?" I felt a lump start to form in my chest. What was going on?

"You said you knew about me. About how I was trying to get a job as your assistant. Really, I'm sort of flattered that you want me to be your boy toy-"

"That's not...you're just trying to get a job?"

"Yeah," he said. "Just a job. I hope...I hope I didn't upset you or anything."

I felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water on my head. It wasn't Sam. I'd just come on to an intern at my office that was trying to get a job. I wanted to puke.

"Oh my God," I said, sitting back down. "This...Sam, this was just a complete misunderstanding."

"Yeah, like I said, it's cool. I get it."

"No you don't," I said. "Look, I wasn't coming on to you...well, I was, but it was only because I thought you were someone else."

"Seriously, Miss Lopez, I'm not gonna tell anyone. You don't have to explain anything."

I groaned. "This really isn't what you think it is."

"Um...alright. I'm just gonna...I'm gonna go." With that, he backed out of my office. I was mortified. How could I humiliate myself like that? I felt like crying, but I couldn't at the office. This was just so embarrassing. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

Quinn kept trying to ask me what had happened for the rest of the day, but I completely ignored her. I think she figured out that it hadn't gone well, but I wasn't going to tell her the extend of my idiocy. My actual secret admirer didn't message me for the whole rest of the day, and I found myself getting angry at him. I knew deep down that what had happened wasn't his fault, really, but it never would've happened if I just knew who the fuck he was.

I threw away the food on my desk the next morning. He tried to message me, but I ignored him. I was hurt and humiliated. Every time I passed Sam in the office, he'd blush and look at the ground, and in my mind, this was all my secret admirer's fault.

**SexySA: Okay, what did I do?**

**SexySA: Seriously, just talk to me.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Who are you?**

**SexySA: You know I can't tell you.**

I wanted to smash my keyboard.

**Lust_4_Lopez: Can't, or won't?**

**Lust_4_Lopez: I'm not playing this game anymore.**

**SexySA: Santana, just give me a little more time.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: No.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: I'm done waiting.**

**Lust_4_Lopez: Tell me who you are or whatever this is that we're doing is finished.**

I didn't hear anything from him for a few hours. I almost regretted saying that. What if he didn't ever talk to me again? That's not what I'd wanted. I'd meant it when I'd said I was in love...in love with someone I'd never met. It was stupid, and it didn't make any sense, but it was true. I just wanted..._needed_...to know who he was. I needed to know that this was real.

It wasn't until I was about to leave for the day that I got a message.

**SexySA: I love you, Santana. I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. All I wanted from this was a chance to show you that, and I think I have. Just remember all this tomorrow. I'll be at your house at 7.**

The next day, I was a nervous wreck. This was it. Today was the day. I was finally going to know-really know-who this guy was.

"What the hell is up with the two of you today?" Quinn asked Brittany and me over lunch. I hadn't even really noticed that Brittany was acting weird until Quinn said something.

"Britt, are you okay?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I think I ate something weird last night," she said. "I feel a little queasy."

"You look a little queasy," Quinn said. "So what about you, Lopez?"

"I...first of all, you have to promise you won't open your fat mouth about this, Quinn."

"Does this have something to do with Mystery Guy?" she asked with a grin, and I nodded. "Then I swear complete secrecy."

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm meeting him tonight."

"Get the fuck out!" Quinn said, and Brittany just weakly smiled at me. She had me worried, but I couldn't really pay attention to her when Quinn was bursting my eardrums.

"Would you shut the fuck up!" I said, putting a hand over her mouth. When she'd calmed down, I pulled back.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited!" she said. "I bet it's one of the guys I guessed."

"Yeah, because things with Sam went so well," I spat out.

"What happened with Sam?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah, what exactly did happen with Sam?" Quinn asked.

"I really don't wanna talk about it," I said. "I've got enough on my mind."

Quinn smiled. "Well, congratulations, Santana. You'll finally know. And obviously, you'll tell me all about it as soon as your date's over tonight, right? Unless, of course, it doesn't end until tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes. "God, I'm not jumping into bed the first time I meet this guy. How easy do you think I am?"

Quinn laughed. "You really don't know the meaning of the word joke, do you? Just tell me everything, okay?"

I shook my head. "I really need a new fucking best friend."

"You love me," she said with a wink. I looked at Brittany, and she was just staring at the table.

"You sure you're alright?" I asked her, and she looked at me.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just...I really hope that this person is someone that you can love."

I felt like she wasn't telling me something.

"I hope so, too," I finally said, and she went back to staring at the table. If I wasn't so focused on meeting my secret admirer that night, I probably would've bothered her until she told me what was up, but I figured I'd ask her about it the next day.

I went straight home after work. I needed to find something to wear. Of course, I'd tried the night before and in the morning, but I hadn't been able to piece anything together that I thought would be good enough. One dress made me look like a grandma while the next one made me look like a total slut. I went through my whole wardrobe twice before settling on a red dress with black trim and black pumps. I wore my hair down and put on some studs and a necklace. Not too fancy, but you could tell I put some effort in.

I tried to keep myself busy, but I just ended up pacing back and forth, looking at the clock when I'd felt that it must be seven already, but really, it'd only been a few seconds. I swear that a few times the clock went backwards.

When I finally heard my doorbell ring, I felt my heart leap into my throat. He was here. He was actually here a few minutes early. I thanked God that I'd been ready an hour ago so he didn't catch me with only half my make-up done or something. I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating as I went to the door and pulled it open.

There, standing in the doorway, was Brittany.

"Hey," she said, shooting me a smile.

"Brittany," I said. "You look absolutely stunning."

It was true. She was wearing a blue dress and matching heels. Her hair fall over her shoulders, and she was wearing these beautiful diamond earrings. She was...breathtaking.

"Thanks," she finally said. "You always look good...so...yeah."

"Why're you here?" I finally asked.

"What?" she asked back.

"I mean, not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, it's just that tonight's sort of a big night for me."

She looked dumbfounded. "I...I have a date."

"Really?" I asked with a smile. "Is that why you were so worked up at the office today?" She just nodded. "Well, you have no reason to be worried. One look at you, and he'll be falling all over himself. In fact, you should leave before my guy comes. He sees you, and I'll be the last thing on his mind."

"Santana-"

"Why'd you come down here if you have a date, though? If you were looking for fashion tips, you don't need any."

"Santana, just-"

"I'd really like to talk right now, Brittany, but he'll be here any second. You should probably be on your way, too. Don't want to keep your date waiting. Although, my guy's late now, so-"

"Santana!" she yelled, and I stopped talking. "No one else is coming for you tonight."

"What're you talking about?" I asked. "He said tonight."

"You know, people used to call me dumb a lot as a kid," she said. "But even I think I would've figured it out by now."

"Figured what out?"

Brittany closed her eyes and sighed. "Santana, I'm here, in my best dress and most expensive earrings. At seven. Telling you no one else is coming. Saying that I have a date."

"Brittany, what're you..." I trailed off. Brittany was here. Brittany was here exactly when my secret admirer was supposed to be here. Brittany was tall and blonde with an athletic build...a dancer's build. Brittany knew my coffee order, because we'd gone out for coffee a few times when I'd first gotten my job. Brittany once told me that she'd go to the pond on weekends to feed ducks. Brittany knew my IM name, because she was friends with me on IM. Brittany had my phone number and knew where I lived and knew about everything between me and Puck and oh my God, Brittany was my secret admirer.

"Oh, fuck," I said, feeling light headed.

"Santana..."

"Oh, fucking fuck, I need to sit down." I went to my living room and sat down. Brittany followed me.

"Santana, I'm sorry," she said. "I'm so sorry."

"Is this a joke?" I asked. "Are you...are you messing with me?"

"No!" she said. "I'd never do that to you. I'd never hurt you on purpose."

I nodded. "Yeah...I don't know if that makes things better or worse. I could just hate you forever if it was a prank, but this? How? Why?"

"I don't really know how to answer that, Santana."

"I mean-ugh!" I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "Since when are you gay?"

"Since, well, ever," she said, shrugging. "And technically, I'm bi, but that doesn't really matter."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"About me liking women, or about me liking you?"

"I don't know," I said. "Both, I guess?"

"Well, the opportunity never really came up for me to come out, I guess. It's not something I just blurt out. 'Hi, I'm Brittany, and I do ladies and fellas' isn't the first thing I say to people when I meet them."

"Yeah, but we've known each other for a while," I said. "You didn't think that was something to bring up?"

"I hate coming out," she said. "It just feels so weird. Why do I need to tell people what I'm into? I usually just talk about an ex-girlfriend or something, and people figure it out. I never really talked about that stuff with you, so I never mentioned it."

I nodded, sort of getting where she was coming from. It would be a pain in the ass to have to declare your sexuality to every new person you meet.

"As far as the other thing goes," she went on, "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I didn't want you to think that I was hitting on you every time I wanted to hang out or anything. I figured being your friend was enough, and I could just ignore my feelings...and then I couldn't anymore." She took a deep breath. "So...what do you think of all this? Are you okay? Do you...hate me?"

I still couldn't believe this. I mean, I felt like a little bit like an asshole. Brittany knew so much about me, and I hadn't even known that she was a dancer until she'd messaged it to me. Hell, I hadn't even known she was gay...bisexual...whatever...until right then.

"I'm a shitty friend," I said.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm a shitty friend!" I repeated, a little louder this time. "All this time, you've been into me, and I didn't notice. I haven't even ever asked you if you were in a relationship. I just went on and on about me. I'm really sorry, Brittany."

"Um...that's okay...I guess," she said. "Is that...is that all you have to say about all this?"

"What?" I was confused until I remembered what she'd asked me. "Oh! No! I don't hate you. I really don't think I could ever hate you. And I'm alright. A little shocked, yeah, but I'm fine."

She smiled. "Okay. That's good."

I sighed. "Yeah, but, Brittany, I'm not...I don't date girls."

Her face fell a little. "Yeah, I know."

"So, I mean, this can't really go anywhere."

"Yeah," she said again, and all I wanted to do was grab her and hug her, but I didn't know if that would just make everything worse.

"You have to know that whatever girl or guy gets you one day is the luckiest person on the face of the planet," I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You're beautiful and kind and you've got the best sense of humor of anyone I've ever known." She smiled, so I went on. "Honestly, I've never connected with anyone like I do with you, and-"

"Santana, as much as you're flattering me right now, and as glad as I am that I made you feel special over the past two months, I really need to go before I start crying."

I felt a pain in my chest when she said that. "You're leaving?"

"Well, I've sort of made a fool of myself. I can't really stay here."

"You didn't make a fool of yourself," I said. "You're incredibly brave, Brittany."

She shook her head. "No, I'm incredibly stupid," she said. "You're perfect. Why would somebody like you ever want somebody like me?" She stood up and started to walk to the door, but I followed her.

"Hey!" I said. "You know that's not what this is about."

"I know," she said. "I'm just upset."

"I get that," I said. I really did get it. This whole thing was giving me an odd sense of disappointment. Not because I wasn't getting a dream guy, but because Brittany was upset. And for some reason, I was upset that Brittany was trying to leave. I really didn't want her to go.

"Please stay," I found myself saying without realizing it.

"I really can't," she said.

"Why not?" I asked, then immediately felt dumb for asking. "I mean, I know that this is hard for you, but I'm still your friend. I don't want you to leave. I like having you around."

She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "Santana, I really can't stand being around the girl that just ripped out my heart. I know you didn't mean to, and I'm not mad at you or anything, but I just need to be away from you right now."

I felt tears come to my eyes. I didn't want her away from me. I didn't want her hurting. There was just something in me that never wanted to see Brittany sad. There always had been. There were times at the office, when I'd see her looking a little down at her desk, so I'd run and grab her a muffin just to cheer her up (another clue I wasn't putting together until after-the-fact). If someone would say something mean to her, they'd suddenly find themselves in back-to-back meetings with quite a little bit of extra paperwork waiting for them when they got out.

I'd meant it when I'd said that I'd never connected to someone like I had with Brittany. Just seeing her brightened up my day. Even though I apparently didn't know her all that well, I'd always ask her opinion on important things in my life. I'd even told her a few things about my family here and there, and I never talked about my family to anyone. She was like a wrecking ball: I spent years putting up a bunch of walls to keep everyone out, and she just walked up and knocked them down with a smile and a kind ear.

Not to mention that I'd on more than one occasion admired how gorgeous she is. I always figured it was objective appreciation, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured it probably wasn't normal to stare at your friend's legs and wonder if they were as smooth as they looked...

"I'm gonna go," she said, bringing me out of my head. "I'm sorry I got your hopes up."

She turned away, but I grabbed her wrist before she could make it out the door. I meant to tell her that I didn't want her to leave. I meant to tell her that I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but I felt like she needed to stay and help me figure everything out. I meant to tell her that I was scared of what this all meant, but the last thing I wanted her to do was walk out my door.

But instead, my mouth somehow ended up on hers.

We didn't do anything at first. I was shocked at myself for being so bold, and she was probably wondering what I was doing. I thought about maybe pulling away and trying to explain myself, but my body had a mind of its own, and I felt my arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her closer. When her lips finally moved against mine, I felt like a teenager getting their first kiss. Heart pounding, butterflies fluttering, ears ringing and light headed-ness from blood going everywhere and nowhere in your body at the same time. It was like everything else about Brittany: perfect.

And suddenly, I felt a lot less confused about everything.

I was in love with her. I had been the whole time. Since the first time we'd met, and I'd bitched her out for bumping into me by the coffee machine. She'd just apologized and smiled at me and stolen my heart without me even realizing what had happened. This whole secret admirer thing had just made everything clear. She'd wanted me to see her, really see her without being distracted by what I, well, saw, and it had worked. It had forced me to realize something about myself that I would've otherwise ignored.

She was just...God, I was lucky that she was so smart.

She pulled away from the kiss, and looked me in the eye. My mouth, apparently, had become useless for anything but kissing, because I kept trying to talk, but nothing would come out. She looked to be about the same, just staring at me, and asking with her eyes what the hell I was doing.

"Stay," I finally managed to get out of my mouth. She tried to protest, but I just cut her off with another quick kiss. When I pulled away, she looked at me again.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I knew what she was asking. Are you sure you want me? Are you sure you want _this?_ We both knew that a dam was going to break if she didn't leave right now, and she needed to know I wanted it to.

I nodded. "I...I need you to stay. Please, Britt."

Things went pretty quickly from there. Kisses got more heated...clothes were shed...I love yous were panted into my ear, and I gave them right back to her. She made me feel better than any of the guys I'd ever slept with. I'm pretty sure it was better than anyone could ever be for me, because that's just how Brittany was. She was always exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it.

I don't know how I'd missed it before...but she was my everything.

When I woke up the next morning, and thought over the previous night's events, I'd felt a slight panic. What the hell did this all mean. Were we together now? Was I gay? Was I even capable of being in a normal, stable, relationship, or would I just fuck it all up?

Then I felt strong arms squeeze me tighter to a warm body, and I relaxed. None of that really mattered. We could figure all that out along the way...together. I let that thought and Brittany's breath against the back of my neck lull me back to sleep.


End file.
